Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Yep, well, its official. Surgery on Friday has finally become real. I have had the hardest time concentrating on anything the past couple of days. I just keep thinking about all the things that need to get done before Friday. And then my mind starts wandering to Friday itself, and I freak out and go back to thinking about jello, and stretchy pants, and heating pads. So yeah, I have really not been productive at work today. I'm trying, but it seems that every time I try to focus myself and call a doctor's office I start thinking about MY doctor's appointments on Thursday. Which takes me back to thinking about all the stuff I need to get done before Friday. And then leads to trying my hardest not to think about Friday. Its a vicious vicious cycle, ya'll. I'm afraid that by Friday I am going to be a big terrified baby. I woke up this morning thinking, "OMG ITS TUESDAY!!! It's so much closer to Friday! Holy crap, I don't know if I'm ready for this." But I know I am ready, I'm just really anxious. Anxious that I will be in a lot of pain after. Anxious that I will wake up in the middle of it like I did when I had my wisdom teeth cut out. Anxious that I'll need another surgery. And a bit worried that I'll get there on Friday and start crying or something. But I just have to keep reminding myself that this surgery is going to clue us into what is going on. And knowing is going to be well worth any pain or embarrassing freak outs that might happen. I just need to hang in there. Everything is going to be ok. Yep, just gotta keep telling myself that.