Friday, February 22, 2013

Ugh, stupid How I Met Your Mother.  Normally, I love that show.  But the reruns about Lilly and Marshal TTC (trying to conceive) have been on, and I literally want to punch the TV.  "We've been trying for two months, but holy shit, we're not pregnant yet so there has to be a problem." takes up to a year for a healthy, reproductively normal couple to conceive.  You have about a 20% chance each month. Oh, and Lilly, you don't have to take your temp every hour, just once, right after you wake up before getting out of bed will do.  Oh, and Marshal, its really not the best idea to abstain from, ehem, releasing any tension (with or without your wife) for two weeks before ovulation.  Your spermies will probably be old and dead.  Its best to let your swimmers swim at least every 3 days. "Why is it taking so long??!!"  Again, its only been two months guys.  Chill out.
And it seems like this is a trend with any tv show that has main characters TTC.  Yeah, lets have so and so go to the fertility specialist after trying for 3 months.  Oh, and lets have lots of laughing and joking about it along the way.  Lets have the couple's friends say horribly rude things like, "Heh heh heh, you shooting blanks or something, man?" And have everyone laugh about it, like saying those types of things are acceptable.  Lets take something that is horribly stressful for people in real life and minimize it.  Lets also put out tons of false information so that people are sobbing over BFNs (big fat negative pregnancy tests) a day after they ovulate, freak out and try to book an appointment with a specialist after 3 months (hahahahahaha! good luck booking one without lying after that short amount of time), and continue to perpetuate the insane belief that you can get pregnant at any point in your cycle.  I happened to see an episode of Mike and Molly where Molly goes and POAS (pee on a stick) the morning after they have sex.  Um, sweetie, that test picks up hcg which is found in your blood if fertilization is successful and implantation occurs.  And that doesn't happen until 7-10 days after you ovulate.  The HCG then has to be filtered by your kidneys and make it into your urine.  You're just wasting those FRERs (first response early result pregnancy test), and those things are pretty expensive.  And then more *hilariously* uninformed decisions are made, and I'm left sitting there yelling, "Of course you're not pregnant yet!  You're a MORON!!!" at the TV.  So tv producers/writers/directors if you are going to bring infertility into your show make it true to life and believable.  Or just make the two characters get pregnant first try and leave it alone.
OK, rant over.  On to other subjects.  Like me!!! I tried to go back to work yesterday and made it for all of two hours.  Apparently my insides don't heal as quickly as I thought they would.  And so now I'm laughing at the fact that I thought I would be able to get back into exercising next week and was bummed when my doctor told me no.  I can't even sit up straight for longer than two hours without hurting, how the hell am I supposed to dance?  Not going to happen.  I've read about other ladies who healed up waaay quicker than this, and sort of feel like a wuss.  I feel like I was in good enough shape to bounce back from this more quickly than I am.  Granted, its only been a week since my surgery, but still.....  I refuse to do anything that might set me back even longer, so I must swallow my pride and take it easy.  Sadness.  I'm ready to get back to normal.  My poor puppies have been neglected too.  I know they are dogs, and dogs like to be outside, but they have been spending a lot of time outside.  I've just been too scared that they will jump on me and hurt me. So now they are super dirty, and poor Autumn really needs a haircut.  But all that is going to have to wait. Poor stinky puppies....
And now, some TTC humor:


  1. Ohhhh I love How I Met Your Mother! But yes, it's like they take a few things - throw in a thermometer, some sperm and sex and think most people will call it good. Which, they will. Have you noticed in the movies they are always taking their temperatures and then saying "oh honey, quick, I'm ovulating...let's have sex!" That's NOT how it works, guys.

    As for you recovery...take it slowly! Pamper yourself and relax!

    1. I know! When I first started researching charting, I realized how completely and utterly wrong everything I had ever seen was. Oh, your temp spiked?? Well, that means its TOO LATE!!

      And I will take your advice and take this recovery thing slowly. Although the better I feel, the more I want to start dancing.....

    2. What kind of dancing do you do? I've always wanted to learn to dance...but I'm completely uncoordinated. I've done some salsa dancing, which is awesome, but can't convince my husband to take classes with me.

    3. I belly dance....and not very well. I've been taking classes for close to a year now and am progressing very well according to my instructor. Its a lot more difficult than it looks. Body parts do not like to move independently. And it is difficult to "layer". My body is often like, "You want me to do what and what? At the same time? Um, I'm sorry, you've lost it." I was supposed to dance in my first performance in March, but with the time off I've had to take, I doubt I'll be ready. I also do Zumba, which incorporates hip-hop, Latin dance moves, and a little bit of cheesy aerobics. I also love it, and I am much much better at it. I am planning on becoming certified to teach it in July.